Sense Project

Q: I had a possible exposure in August 2010- unprotected receptive anal. Im a female btw. At 5 and 6 1/2 months I got tested for all STI’s. All results were negative. My main concern is HIV. Do I need to test again? P.s. I had no exposure since that night.

Since you got tested twice, and your results were negative both times, I would feel pretty confident in your results. You also got tested after 6 months, which fully covers the window period for HIV (the time frame in which the virus can’t be accurately detected by a test - for HIV it’s 3-6 months). In your case, I would let go of the stress and start enjoying safe sex again.

In general, when you are sexually active, you should get tested for STIs every 6 months even if you use protection - that way, you cover all the window periods of the different tests. People sometimes choose to get tested every year, or even less often, if they have one partner and they’ve agreed on a monogamous relationship. In your case, it sounds like you’ve got your bases covered for that one situation, and you could consider getting tested regularly (e.g. every 6 months to a year) in the future. You can also stock up on free condoms and lube at Head & Hands (and most other clinics), to further protect your health!

A couple of questions related to sex and pleasure, answered by our resident sexology stagiaire, Gabrielle!

Q: How many orgasms can you have in a day?

There aren’t any real limits to how many orgasms you can experience in a day.

But…

Different people have different “recovery periods” between orgasms - basically, the time it takes for blood to flow back to those areas that it just rushed out of. Usually female-bodied people are more disposed to get more orgasms or multiple orgasms than male-bodied people. That distinction comes from the fact that male-bodied people have a recovery period that’s longer and different than for female-bodied people - it’s the period after an ejaculation where you can’t get another erection. Female-bodied people also have that recovery period after an orgasm, but it can be shorter or non-existent in some cases. Other factors like stress, mental and physical health, confidence or trust between partners, drug or alcohol use, your age, etc… can have an impact on your capacity to have an orgasm, and by default, many orgasms. Sometimes, focusing on the number of orgasms you are having or trying to achieve orgasm can prevent you from actually “getting there”, because your mind and body are too preoccupied! Just keep in mind that having an orgasm is not the ultimate goal of sexual activity, so the number of orgasms that you have doesn’t qualify the quality of your sexual activity.

Q: My first time with my girl friend, I didn’t last very long, and I think she was disappointed. What can I do?

We say this all the time, but the basic thing in any relationship is communication. If you want to be sure that you’re on the same page as your partner and you really want to know what they’re thinking, you should start a conversation with them. We can stress for a long time about what the other person is thinking, when there might be nothing going on. If you feel like your girlfriend might believe that you didn’t last very long, it might be a good idea to address it with her, instead of letting these feelings grow in the background of your relationship.

I also think that the notion of lasting very long is pretty subjective: how long a person can and should keep an erection is different from one person to another. Usually, our expectations are very high, because we think that sex should be a certain perfect way. Read the rest of this entry »

Thanks to Gabrielle, our Sexology stagiaire, for answering the latest question on our blog!

Q: PLEASE PROVIDE A DEFINITION OF INTERSEX

Intersex refers to a person who’s born with sex chromosomes, external genitalia, or a reproductive system that’s not considered “standard” for either male or female. (Intersex Society of North America)

Here are some examples to represent this concept. A person could be born with a vulva and a vagina but no uterus and ovaries (internal reproductive system), or with a penis and a vagina, or a very large clitoris that resembles a penis. A lot of people are curious about what the range of intersex genitals could look like, but these questions can be quite invasive for intersex people (for any person, really!). This blog has some great diagrams and explanations that avoid using photos of people’s bodies (these are often taken without the person’s consent).

These variations in sexual organs doesn’t mean a person is unhealthy, and in most cases won’t cause them any physical health problems. The big issue in the reality of an intersex person is often the ambiguity and the stigma. Ambiguity by itself is totally fine, but our society doesn’t respond very well to things that don’t fit easily into boxes. In most cases, doctors perform surgery on intersex babies in order to “correct” the situation and to make their genitals fit in the “normal” male/female binary. This sends the message that to be intersex is a problem, when in reality it’s not!

Being informed as parents of an intersex kid or as an intersex person is really important, since there are many myths out there that can have a big impact on a person’s sexual development and identity. Check out the Intersex Society of North America, or these videos produced by 20/20, for more information:

Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xv1yk2Va9qc

Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHbBTEeayEU&feature=related

Welcome to our newest anonymous-question-answerer, Gabrielle!  Gabrielle is a Sexology student at UQAM and a beloved stagiaire here at Head & Hands. Today she waxes poetic about the varieties of vulvas out there…

Q: how many types of vagina do we have?

An important thing to note is that there’s a lot of confusion in our day-to-day language about the female genitals, especially about the difference between the vagina and the vulva. The vulva refers to the outer portion of the genitals formed by the clitoris, the hood of the clitoris, the outer and the inner labia, the opening of the urethra and the opening of the vagina. The vagina is the internal part: it’s the canal that connects the vulva to the cervix and the uterus (the inner genitals). Check out the diagram below to see how it all comes together!

In any case, the precise number of different types of vulvas and vaginas are impossible to determine. Everybody is shaped differently to begin with, and people can alter the appearance of their genitals in different ways (e.g. piercing, shaving, tattoos or dyes)

As cliché as it sounds, every vulva is a unique piece of art. It has its own colour, size, amount of hair, and texture. Colour can range from a subtle pink to a rich brown tone. The clitoris, its hood and the labia can be very small and the skin tight, or larger and with the skin more elastic. Inner labia might be longer or shorter, sometimes extending below the outer labia and sometimes not. All of these things are normal!  It’s also important to note that the inner labia (like breasts and testicles) usually differ in size. For example, your inner right labia might stick out beyond your outer labia a lot more than the left one.

To get a better idea of variations, and to appreciate their difference, take a look at these pictures of vulvas after the break (NOTE: may not be acceptable viewing material in certain workplaces or schools!)

Read the rest of this entry »

Hey everyone !! My name is Jes and I am the newbie here at senseproject.org. Over the next several months, I will be posting about key topics related to all things ’sense-y’ (and sometimes sexy..) including Getting to know your… videos. These videos will showcase existing members here at Head and Hands, to give folks a better idea of what they do here, regarding the Sense Project.

A little bit about me:

I am a full-time university student and part time blogger for my own website,nudabite. Here you will find a variety of topics related to the gay and queer community, including events, hot topics, photos and video interviews and Montreal fashion stuff. Basically, everything that I love through my own perspective

I’m a humanitarian/humanist and animal rights activist. I love to cook vegetarian food (it tastes awesome and is SUPER healthy for you!) and I believe in living a healthy lifestyle over-all, so hitting the gym is also something that I try to do regularly.

I hope you find my future posts instersting, insightful and inspiring

So excited to be part of this team!!!

<3