Sense Project

Safety_hugo says:

Virginity sounds like a simple matter to a lot of people. It usually implies having never had penetrative sex, but it can get tricky quickly.

What if two guys have sex together for years but never do penetration, because that’s not their thing - are they virgins?

What if two women have sex together for years, never doing penetration - are they virgins? What if they start using sex toys for penetration?

What if a woman does penis-anus penetration with her partner, but no penis-vagina sex to protect her hymen, is she still a virgin?

Virginity is a label. You decide if it applies to you or not. What becomes an issue is when people are treated poorly because of their sexual experience, or lack of thereof. Or when people feel they’ve wasted something important if they end up having a mediocre first sexual experience (for whatever reason). There’s a good chance that your first time will be less than 0.1% of your sex life, yet people put so much emphasis on it. The first sexual experience that really matters is the first one you truly enjoy.

What matters is whether you are enjoying what you are doing with your partner or not, and whether you want to explore other aspects of your sexuality. People can judge you on what you have done or not, but that shouldn’t be.