Sense Project

One Response to “Are women unapproachable?”

1. 

   Todd Smitts February 13th, 2010 at 5:01 am

   I just read the article you were referencing and I think some things might’ve been taken out of context. But first I’m a bit confused by some of your responses:

   After reading off the four explanations you ask “Are we really that inapproachable?”, but then you say

   “Don’t we look pissed because we get a lot of inappropriate comments from too many guys?”

   “Some of us also don’t want to be hit on. Can’t they just leave us alone with our friends? We are trying to have fun!”

   “Maybe we don’t lock eyes because we are not interested in you!”

   So which is it? Are you being approached by guys and don’t want to be, or not being approached by guys and want to be?

   And regarding the sexual double standard you mention, it’s true that this is grossly unfair and it is one of many that need to go away, but as I said, I think you took this out of context.

   Here’s what the article said about being TOO flirtatious:

   “A chip on your shoulder is a turnoff to any guy waiting to make his approach, but so is the other extreme. Istillhatescreennames is put off when women cross the line from friendly to flirty…with everyone they see. “If she’s flirting with lots of guys. Nothing like a woman who is basically telling everyone in the place that she’s open for business with anyone,” he says. “Flirting with everyone” would put him off, agrees Anonymous, adding another pet peeve: “Grinding out on the dance floor (yeah, it’s fun to look at, but I like to look at strippers too…I wouldn’t take any home to meet my mom).” Sure, he’ll notice you if you’re the loudest, most aggressive girl in the room — but not in a good way.”

   So no one’s saying don’t flirt at all, but you wouldn’t think much of a guy approaching you after you saw him hit on every other girl in the room, would you? Same goes for the woman who’s hanging on every guy around her. There’s a difference between locking eyes with one or two people and flirting with every person of the opposite sex that you see.

   There also seems to be a misinterpretation with the subject of the article here. It asked MEN, not women, why they hesitate to approach women. Your respsonse here seems to be an explanation as to why some women may not react favorably to men who do approach them.

   So if you’re not being approached by guys and don’t want to be, then what does it matter?

   On the other hand, if you do want to meet an okay guy but feel stifled by some antiquated stigma against female sexuality then do something about it! Most reasonable people aren’t going to brand you with a scarlet letter for making some casual remark to the guy next to you at the bar about the music the DJ’s playing or the amount of people at the club tonight or whatever, thereby giving him an opening to strike up a conversation.

   So either way, there you go.