Sense Project

Sydney, Sense animator extraordinaire, makes another guest appearance to answer your anonymous questions! Thanks, Sydney!

Q: How do I give more enjoyment to my husband?

First off, I want to say that your enjoyment is just as important to this equation as your husband’s. Everyone has a sex drive and everyone has the right to experience pleasure. Sex is best when both people are into it!

Secondly, I must say that there’s no one (or even two or three) answer(s) to this. My main suggestion would be to communicate! Spend some time thinking about what sex acts turn you on and what you’re comfortable doing. Brainstorm a few ideas about what might be enjoyable for you and your husband. Think about your fantasies and what you want out of sex. Then sit down with your husband over coffee or a glass of wine or a meal or whatever. Tell him your fantasies. Ask him what his are. Discuss ways to make them a reality. If things get awkward or uncomfortable, maybe take a break. Be prepared to give him some time to do some thinking as well and then set a time in the near future that works for both of you to come back and talk about things.

As far as detailed suggestions about different things you can try and how to go about doing them, there are way too many options to discuss here. Internet research can be helpful, but remember to take everything you read there with a grain of salt. There’s a great - and quite detailed! - article over on Scarleteen that describes the anatomy of pleasure and which of our body parts can make us feel really good! There are also a lot of great books out there that you can find at many bookstores or even the library sometimes. My favorite is The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex. It talks about a wide range of topics related to sex, offers tips on how to make each sex act more enjoyable for both people, and is a super easy and fun read. There’s something in it for everyone, regardless of gender, sexuality, and sexual preferences.

Keep in mind that the idea of what “good sex” is is different for everyone. Also, you and/or your husband may be into one thing one night and a totally different thing the next. Communication is an ongoing process. Keep talking with each other in different ways and different times. Some of the best discussions happen when you’re not in bed, but offering suggestions and checking in with the other person are also important before, during, and after sex. As a general rule, the more you talk about it, the more comfortable you will be and the better the sex will be.

Another guest appearance to answer your anonymous questions on the blog!  This time, Sydney, Sense animator extraordinaire, gives you the low-down on squirting (a.k.a. “female ejaculation”)…

Q: how can my man make me squirt?

First off, not all vag’s squirt. As a matter of fact, most don’t, but a fair number do and it’s definitely worth a shot! Squirting, when it does happen, is all about stimulating the g-spot in a specific way. Keep in mind, though, that squirting is not the be-all and end-all of pleasure. Approaching it as a hurdle that needs to be overcome will also make it even more unlikely, since being comfortable and turned on is key to any sexual encounter.

So let’s get down to it. First stop - the bathroom. G-spot stimulation and orgasms can be kind of uncomfortable with a full bladder, and right before ejaculation you’ll almost always feel a like you have to pee, which is normal. Second - you may want to lay down a towel or plastic sheet. Some squirters will dribble out a couple of teaspoons of thin clear liquid. Some people will produce some major spray.
Read the rest of this entry »

Q: spurm is eating or not?

If you are wondering if there is any nutritional value to sperm: According to the Columbia University website Go Ask Alice, each teaspoon of ejaculate has about 5-7 calories and some 200-500 million sperm. While sperm makes up only about 1% of semen, the rest of the liquid contains fructose sugar, water, ascorbic acid,
citric acid, enzymes, protein, phosphate and bicarbonate, and zinc. So although there are proteins and calories in sperm, you would have to swallow gallons of it to make any kind of difference to your nutrition!

If you are wondering if it’s safe to swallow sperm/semen: There are some risks involved in swallowing semen, and in unprotected oral sex in general. Read the rest of this entry »

We are getting more and more questions in our “Ask Anything” question box to the right! –> Stay tuned for more questions & answers coming up next week!  Julia, a very special Sense volunteer, answered today’s question…

Q: how can I have safe sex without getting pregnant?

There are several ways you can negotiate safer sex without getting pregnant.

Condoms are the only form of contraception that also prevent the transmission of Sexually Transmitted Infections [STIs]. They are easy to use, easy to find and cheap, and you may even be able to get them for free at many locations, such as clinics and youth community centres like Head & Hands! They are mostly made of latex, but may also be made out of polyurethane and other hypo-allergenic products. They are available in many varieties, including lubricated and non-lubricated, ribbed, coloured, flavoured, etc. Water-based lubricants can also be used with condoms to make penetration way smoother and reduce the risk of condom breakage.

There are many other forms of contraception available that prevent unwanted pregnancies. For example, the Pill, the patch, the ring, and the Depo Provera injection are all forms of contraception that use hormones to prevent pregnancy. IUDs (Intra-Uterine Devices) are inserted into the uterus, and you have the option of having an IUD that also releases hormones. You need a prescription for all of these, which means a visit to your local clinic, sexual health clinic, or family doctor. The diaphragm and cervical cap are barrier methods that prevent sperm from entering the uterus, and you can call different clinics to see if they offer fittings.  Check out this handy chart from Planned Parenthood for more information about these different birth control methods!  It’s important to remember that none of these options protect against the transmission of STIs, so you can pair them with condoms to make sex safer. 

If you don’t want to use condoms and would like to use one of these other contraceptives to prevent pregnancies, there are still many ways to have safer sex. Using lube will reduce vaginal (or anal) tearing during penetrative sex, and this may reduce the chance of transmitting STIs. Communicating with your sexual partner(s) about sexual history and getting tested regularly are great ways to have safer sex. Finally, choosing to do only certain sexual acts that are both low risk for STI transmission and no risk for pregnancy is a great option - for example, hand jobs, grinding, making out and kissing!

Head & Hands is looking for a committed, engaged and passionate leader to fill the position of Executive Director! After 40 years of groundbreaking service provision, we are looking for a Director with the creative energy and competence to lead our team in meeting the growing needs of Montreal youth while helping us achieve organizational sustainability.

The Executive Director oversees the financial health and strategic vision of the organization in a way that is collaborative and consistent with our mission, goals, and approach. As a spokesperson, the Executive Director publicly champions Head & Hands’ work and fosters strategic relationships with community partners and donors.  In addition, the Executive Director coordinates human resources, supports staff and clients, and sparks a positive team vibe.

The Executive Director is responsible for managing complex projects, the organization’s finances, and the three Head & Hands locations, while taking responsibility for effective fundraising, grant stewardship and organizational development. The Executive Director reports to, and is an active voting member of, the Board of Directors.

Click to read farewell message from Marlo, our outgoing ED of seven years!

To see the full job posting, including requirements and application process, please visit the Head & Hands website.