Sense Project

This week’s Ask Anything column is answered by Liam, a fantastic Sense animator who facilitates our workshops in schools! As I mentioned before, Sense now has a formspring account where you can ask us anything - any of your awkward, out-there or just plain practical questions about sex. You can ask your questions anonymously at any time in the box to the right –> and we’ll post the answers here on the blog!

Q: is anal and oral sex safe without condoms?

The short answer is no, but, it’s always more complicated than that. For instance, oral and anal sex with condoms isn’t completely safe either. For instance, herpes, HPV (genital warts), and parasitic STIs (crabs, lice, and trichomoniasis) can be passed on even if a condom is used properly because condoms can only protect the area that they cover and these STIs are located all over the genital area, not just on the shaft of a penis. Instead of safe vs. unsafe, it makes more sense to talk about ’safer’ sex. Condoms are a very effective method to prevent the transmission of a lot of STIs, many of which can be passed on through anal and oral sex.

Using a condom for anal sex can be a bit tricky because anuses often have less lubrication than either mouths or vaginas. Be sure to use a water-based lube with a latex condom and to go as slowly as you need to. Be sure not to double-bag (wear 2 condoms at the same time) because they rub together and actually increase the risk of a condom mishap.

For oral sex, condoms or dental dams can prevent the transmission of gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, HIV and Hepatitis A/B/C, and can help reduce the risk of HPV and herpes transmission. But remember that if open sores are present and they’re not covered by the condom or dental dam, infections can be transmitted from skin to skin contact.

The take-away lesson is that proper condom use and caution when there are open sores around will do a lot to keep you safer.

Hope this helps! Happy safer sex!

While you should know that female condoms exist; today, I want to talk about male condoms. Why? Well, if we’re talking about pleasure, we should also be talking about safety.

A few key points about male condoms:

1. Most condoms are made of latex. Only water-based lubes can be used with latex and latex also happens to prevent all sperm, bacteria and viruses from passing through it.
2. Male condoms can also be made out of polyurethane. Therefore, if you or your partner is allergic to latex, this is a good option. And, they can be used with both water and oil based lubes.
3. Lambskin condoms exist; but, the pores are too big to prevent the transmission of some viruses. Bottom line is…You can use them to prevent pregnancy but not for safer sex. Actually, you should always read labels closely to see if your condoms will protect you from STIs.
4. Condoms come in a variety of shapes and sizes because not all penises are the same shape or size.
5. Condoms come in many flavours which is great for oral sex.
6. Do not wear two condoms at the same time!
7. Protect your condoms since you never know when you’ll get lucky. So, don’t stick them in your wallet or keep them loose in your pockets (yup, they can get damaged that way). You could put them in a plastic cigarette case, which you can buy at the dollar store to prevent damage. Always store your condoms in a cool dry place.
8. Be proud, not embarrassed, when you purchase condoms!
9. You can get free condoms at places like Head and Hands, the ACCM, schools and many other community health service providers.
10. For more info and for a very detailed 6 step guide on how to use a male condom, please download our Peer Education Manual and see pages 94 to 97.

Midwest Teen Sex Show on condoms:

Fun condom ad by AIDES:

A Switzerland company manufactures condoms for 12-year-old boys, and plans to distribute them outside of Switzerland. While it’s only a minority of 12-year-olds that are sexually active (and the sex is typically very occasional), I believe safer sex supplies should still be available for them, and a condom that fits your penis size is also great if you want to practice with it, which we always encourage people to do in workshops.

A standard condom has a diameter of 52mm in comparison with the Hotshot’s 45mm. Both are the same length – 190mm.

According to a study of 13 to 20-year-olds, a quarter said that a standard condom was too large.

Hilary Pannack, of teenage pregnancy charity Straight Talking Peer Education, said: ‘We know young people are having sex and if this is what it takes to protect them, we need to go along with it.’

Condoms in ‘extra small’ for boys age 12 set for Britain’s shelves soon @ Mail Online

Here’s an awesome video created by the Midwest Teen Sex Show that talks about anal sex. If you want additional info, please check out our Peer Education Manual (pp.152-154).

So, the “bottom” line is:

-Respect the rectum (i.e. never insert anything in the anus that doesn’t have a flared base to prevent it from slipping up into the rectum and beyond, poop before (if necessary), make sure whatever you use for penetration is clean and be safe).

-Proceed slowly and use lots of lube (i.e. use water-based lubricant and massage the area…You know, work with the rectum).

-Don’t double dip! (i.e. anything that goes into the anus should be cleaned or given a new condom before it goes anywhere else)

-Try different positions and have fun!

Mega meta pop phenomenon Lady Gaga is at it again!  As if I needed another reason to love the Lady, her newest tirade about teens and safer sex in this article Lady Gaga’s Message to Fans: “Have Safe Sex” totally made me smile and nod.

I really like this part, where she talks about her fans:

“I see them every night and they are so beautiful and precious and lovely, but some of them are insecure and very troubled and not confident,” she said.

“I meet them and they cry, and they say ‘Gaga you make me feel like I belong’.

“And I think to myself about that one girl or those hundreds of thousands of girls who meet that guy at a club who makes them feel like they belong and they don’t have that negotiation.”

I think she brings up a great point about how body image and self confidence can really impact a person’s enjoyment of sex and their ability to negotiate things like condom use.  Non?

Gaga also recently caused a fuss when she launched her own brand of designer condoms.

Also, whether a person is sexually active or not, they can still wear a garbage bag-like contraption on their heads a la Gaga - SEXY, SAFE AND STYLISH!