Sense Project

IS IT HARD FOR GUYS TO FLIRT WITH GIRLS?

The male members of Marie Claire seem to think so! Here is what they had to say in the article Four Things That Make Women Unapproachable*:

It is hard for guys to flirt with girls because of four simple things:

• We look pissed -
• We are surrounded by our friends
• We don’t lock eyes
• We are too flirtatious

This article raised a lot of questions in my mind. Are we really that inapproachable?

We look unapproachable because we look pissed and/or are surrounded by our friends. Don’t we look pissed because we get a lot of inappropriate comments from too many guys?          Some of us get harassed and followed by weirdoes. And how many guys approach us with some sleazy made-up sentence like “what’s your sign, baby? Mine is Virgo!  Wanna help me?”. Some of us also don’t want to be hit on. Can’t they just leave us alone with our friends? We are trying to have fun! No wonder we look pissed sometimes.

The male members of Marie Claire also blame it on two things that seemed be linked together: we don’t lock eyes and/or we are too flirtatious.

Maybe we don’t lock eyes because we are not interested in you! Maybe we haven’t even seen you! Or maybe the society tells us we can’t! Yes, at this time, our sexuality can be more liberal than our grand-mothers. Unfortunately, we are not as free as we should be!

The problem is that what is asked of us is a mixed message. We are shown women in the media, sexy as hell, locking eyes and lips and … At the same time, guys are still expected to do all the work, when it comes to flirting.  Even if the media projects an image of a sexually freed woman, we are not allowed to be that woman! There’s also a very clear double-standard when it comes to sexuality. When a cocky, sexually aggressive guy “scores”, he’s a hunk.  When a girl is flirtatious and as sexy as the girls in a 50cents‘ video, she’s a whore…

So guys, how can you ask us to lock eyes but not be too flirtatious? Why can’t we just show you our romantic/sexual interest without being “too much” or “not enough”? Is that fair?

With all that being said, it seems to me that this article couldn’t be more wrong. I can see two reasons for us not being approachable, but they are very different:

• We want to be safe
• We are not allowed to be sexually assertive

But that’s just my own opinion!

What do you think? Are we that inapproachable? If so, is it for the reason stated by Marie Claire’s members?

*You can read the article here: http://lifestyle.ca.msn.com/love-sex-relationships/hearst-article.aspx?cp-documentid=22019385