Sense Project
a Head & Hands initiative
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For those of you who wonder if it is possible to tell if someone is a virgin or not, here are a few things you should know:There is no way to tell if someone ever had a sexual intercourse by simply looking at their penis.There isn’t always a way also to tell if someone ever had sexual intercourse simply by looking at their vagina.You might have heard that there is a skin inside a vagina called ”Hymen”. An hymen is a little membrane that covers a part of the entrance of the vagina.Here is an illustration of a vulva, so that you all know what we’re talking about
- illustration of a vagina
Illustration of a vulva
So vaginas usually come with this membrane call Hymen, which can break with the first intercourse (penetration). The hymen is usually a quite thin membrane. For that reason, it can also break before any intercourse, during sports, per example. The hymen is also very different from one person to the other. Sometimes there are holes in the hymen, sometimes there is none. For that reason, some people can insert a tampon without any problem even if they’ve never been penetrated. While others can’t.
Different types of hymens
As I said, Hymen usually breaks (if it hasn’t already) during the first penetration (tampon, finger, toy or penis). It is absolutely normal. Since it is a thin membrane that is breaking and it is part of the body, it is possible that it hurts the first (or first few) time. It might even bleed. All of this is normal.
You have to talk to your partner and feel comfortable, in order to be able to tell them if you want them to stop. Also, if you are relaxed, your muscles will be too, and it will facilitate the lubrification and the penetration.
Remember: Virginity isn’t all about the hymen. You might consider you had your first sexual contact, even tho your hymen is still intact.
If you have any concerns about your virginity, your hymen or your vagina, it is always good to talk to your gynecologist.
Tags: hymen, Sex, vagina, virginity - illustration of a vagina
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October 26th, 2009Education, Peer education, Sex0 comments
Safety_hugo says:
Virginity sounds like a simple matter to a lot of people. It usually implies having never had penetrative sex, but it can get tricky quickly.
What if two guys have sex together for years but never do penetration, because that’s not their thing - are they virgins?
What if two women have sex together for years, never doing penetration - are they virgins? What if they start using sex toys for penetration?
What if a woman does penis-anus penetration with her partner, but no penis-vagina sex to protect her hymen, is she still a virgin?
Virginity is a label. You decide if it applies to you or not. What becomes an issue is when people are treated poorly because of their sexual experience, or lack of thereof. Or when people feel they’ve wasted something important if they end up having a mediocre first sexual experience (for whatever reason). There’s a good chance that your first time will be less than 0.1% of your sex life, yet people put so much emphasis on it. The first sexual experience that really matters is the first one you truly enjoy.
What matters is whether you are enjoying what you are doing with your partner or not, and whether you want to explore other aspects of your sexuality. People can judge you on what you have done or not, but that shouldn’t be.
Tags: oral sex, penetration, Sex, sex toys, sexuality, virgin, virginity
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Head & Hands is an NDG-based community organization that offers medical, legal, and social services to youth aged 12-25.